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Bevy's Art Corner News Letter January and February 2015

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Again I say; I am sorry I have not been keeping my web page up-to-date. Life lately has been somewhat horrific.Weíve had far to many friends and family members pass into the heavens either from natural causes, cancer or sucide. There was even a suicide. Weíre also still cleaning up after the fire and trying to get it all organized. Personally; I think we could be finished and have a comfortable home if Walter got off the computer once in a while and dealt with his stuff. He doesnít want me to deal with it, so it gets piled here and there. Places Iíve worked on with the help of my variest friends start looking good, but the visual of hubbyís corners of our world depresses me and I give up for a while. Then a bee gets in my bonnet and I attack my world again. Itís a constant circle and I never seem to get it finished. I wish we were rich enough to hire a professional or two. Iíll need it near perfect when I canít do for myself or need to use my wheel chair 24/7.

That is the least of my problems or dilemmas; perhaps these arenít even the right words to use. The loss of myfriends and family took itsí toll on me. I was also in a car accident that had me laid up for several months.

I took the lost of family members much harder then I figured I would. My family is pretty dysfunctional and to this day I canít really say I know any of them well. My daughter Dawn and I had the strangest of relationships, sheíd play with me like a yoyo. Let me in her life, toss me aside, let me backÖLove me to my face, over the phone and on the net (She would fit right in with the sperficial people here), but with others sheíd talk about me behind my back, with a completely different set of views. It was her life game and I learned to live with. After all I wasnít the perfect mother or a mommy. Her kids for reasons Iím sure they thought were good at the time, shut me out before my daughter was even cold. My son followed suite with the excuse he didnít want to upset things with the nieces etc.

Sometimes I think Iím one of a kind when it comes to being open, honest and upfront. I figure if I say what Iím thinking to a personís face no one can say I do have a friend or two who like me keep everything on the table. Guess we just had to much crap in our past. We read people prety well for that reasonÖ. I donít really care what people think of me as long as I have a couple of true friends. Iím a tough weed and Iíll survie until I donít.

Besides my daughter, I lost my step dad (not sure I can call him that, because I never lived with him and my mom) just up and had a heart-attack. He seemed nice every time I saw him and I do so wish I could have gotten to know him better. He looked after my mom and loved her so much raised her kids as his. Perhaps in the next world.

Randy one of my favorite brothers was quite the character. I never saw a lot of him, except for a short visit on my travels (I moved about like a gypsy.) to my new home. It would have been nice to see him that one last time, have that last drink and hear one last joke.

Dawnís son my grandson couldnít handle rhe loss and followed soon after by his own hand.

I mentioned the most heart breaking; other then that I can handle the we live we die. Iím not sure if Iíll get to see the rest of my family before they or I leave this world, so Iím very thankful to facebook; it got us in touch with each other. Although I had many losses in the last year or so, My hubby and I have also had a lot of good karma.

I still remember all the help we got after the fire. Neighbors, boating club members, people we knew in passing, friends (even the laziest ones) came out and helped clean up after the fire. Many bought tools, gear and one paid for the dumpster.

You never think of needing help but sometimes you do. When my daughter was dying all our friends here and even one of my sisters and a couple of friends from Canada contributed to my sonís familyís trip to Toronto from B.C so he and his family could say good-bye to his sister. The last time he saw her time before this happened was when he and his sister had a big fight. Iím glad he got to see her and had a chance to befriend his nieces and newphew. Living with regrets isnít easy. Now he has some better memories thanks to my friends and family.

This is why Iíve been neglectful of my web page and my letter writing. I will once again try to stay on top of things. Iím sure keeping on top of my web page and letter writing will help me with dealing with my losses and inner sadness. If you see Iím slacking send me a note and say; ďHey girl up-date your page/whereís my letterĒ

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